DH informed me over the weekend that BM of SD 8 and SS 6 had apparently been reminiscing with the children and watching old home movies from when they were still married (it's been 3 years since their divorce). BM said this made SD very upset, she cried and said she "just wanted her family back."
DH and I had no idea what to do. We agreed that we thought it was inappropriate for BM to watch those videos with the children, showing them a life that doesn't exist anymore...but I am torn.
He took SD 8 out on a walk yesterday afternoon to talk. He reiterated that she shouldn't be sad about seeing the videos because there was a lot of unhappiness and fighting that she didn't know about when her parents were married, and that she has a lot to be happy and thankful for now because she has 2 families that love her. She agreed and said she got upset mostly because mommy was crying while they were watching, and that she just missed being young again (she was around 5 in the video).
I understand it's important for the children to not block out memories of what their life used to be, but at the same time I can't help but feel like BM showed the videos to the kids to intentionally upset them (she recently found that I am pregnant with our first child and is not taking it well at all). DH and I agreed that this seems like her attempt at keeping the skids from being happy about the new baby/our family in general.
My question is...are DH and I crazy? Is it healthy for BM to be watching home videos of them being a family together with her children and CRYING while doing so? Or am I correct in feeling like this could be a form of emotional abuse?
Source: http://www.steptalk.org/node/81977
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