Listening: The Most Under-Utilized Skill in Negotiation ? The Claims ...

By Nancy Hudgins ? March 22, 2012

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As a mediator, I rank listening as the most under-used skill in the negotiations that play out in front of me.

If lawyers had training in psychology or neuroscience, listening would be more valued and more utilized.? Most books about this have been published since I graduated from law school.? The problem is that lawyers are taught that persuasion is about their talking, their arguments, their scoring points, in order for their view to prevail.? In a negotiation, however, persuasion is more about listening for what the other side really wants, then finding a way to give it to them at the minimum cost to you.

Malhotra and Bazerman, two Harvard Business School professors, make the distinction in Negotiation Genius, between selling and negotiating.

?Selling involves telling people about the virtues of [your case],

focusing on the strengths of your case, and trying to induce

agreement or compliance.? Effective negotiating requires this

kind of active selling, but it also entails focusing on the other

side?s interests, needs, priorities, constraints, and perspective.

Negotiation geniuses?understand this difference.? They also

understand that their ability to structure a deal that maximizes

value often hinges not on their ability to persuade, but on their

ability to listen.?

Last year I read Mark Goulston?s Just Listen.? Goulston is a psychiatrist, consultant and business coach.? He is an apostle for listening.? The inscription in his book is to his mentor and friend, the business guru Warren Bennis.? Goulston says Bennis

?. . . taught me that when you ?deeply listen? and get where people are coming

from, and then care about them when you?re there, they?re more likely to

let you take them where you want them to go.?

It?s such a simple notion, yet it?s rarely used in mediations.? Practice careful and intentional listening with your loved ones (and notice their response!), then try it at your next negotiation.? Let me know how it goes.

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Related posts:

1. Negotiation Strategy: Going to the Balcony
2. Getting More in Your Negotiations
3. Don?t Go Into Mediation Cold: Settlement Requires A Game Plan
4. 5 Things To Avoid When Negotiating In Business and Claims

Source: http://theclaimsspot.com/2012/03/22/listening-the-most-under-utilized-skill-in-negotiation/

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